My coach is always encouraging me to make decisions quickly and then to act on them. Her theory is that we already know what we want. She says the reason we make decisions difficult is because either we’re scared of the answer we’re getting or because we’ve buried our true desires under so many shoulds and supposed tos that we can’t hear the part of us that knows anymore.
My decision-making tendencies make my coach laugh. I agonize and dance around the decision, then once I make it – straight into action.
Decide I need to quit my job? 24 hours later, done.
Difficult discussion/news to share? 3 hours later, done.
Decide to start a new business? On it.
Decide I really do need to change my eating habits? Looking up information and mentally cleaning out my kitchen cabinets before we’re off the phone.
Unfortunately before I can get to the action part, I have to make the decision. I’m quite skilled at making the making of decisions agonizing and dramatic
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I have gotten better at making decisions. Over that last year I’ve begun to uncover the secret to making decisions. Actually, it’s not so much a secret as it is an art to making decisions.
Well, actually, it’s mostly just basic self-care. As in, taking care of myself so I can hear the part of me that already knows the answer. (Oh, yeah. That.)
Emily’s 4 Essential Practices to Making Good Decisions:
Sleep
Sounds simple.
It is.
When I am tired and worn out and cranky from lack of good, quality sleep – I do not make decisions that honor my true wants and needs. I get cranky and whiney and frustrated trying to make decisions when I’m tired.
When I’m rested and energized from a good night’s sleep? Decisions are easier and answers come much more quickly and clearly.
Listen to your body
I have a tendency to be all up in my head sometimes. I forget that my body is very wise and helpful when I listen to it.
When I pay attention, my body will let me know if something is what I really want or not. For me, it’s usually a heaviness or tightness in the chest for a “nope, not yours to do” and a lightness or fluttering in my chest for a “absolutely, yes, yes, yes!”
This is the “shackles on, shackles off” test from one of my favorite books, “Steering by Starlight” by Martha Beck. (I highly recommend it – both the book and the test!) Some people get their answers in different parts of their body like their solar plexus or stomach or throat.
Sometimes what my body tells me is the complete opposite of what my head says – experience has taught me that my body is almost always right.
Eating Regularly
This is the one that trips me up more often than not.
I feel the best physically, mentally, and emotionally when I eat at regular intervals – usually no longer than 4 hours between meals/snacks. (Case in point – writing this I realized that it had been more than 4 hours since I’d last eaten and I’m noticing I’m becoming more easily distracted…brown rice, black-eyed peas, and steamed greens are now cooking as I type!)
Eating regularly (and healthy) keeps the body functioning at top level, which translates into fewer emotional ups and downs and greater mental clarity. And an increased likelihood I’ll listen to my body and that voice inside that knows the answers I’m seeking.
As someone who is prone to bouts of fear and panic, this stability is essential!
Get moving!
I hate the word exercise. I dislike actually exercising almost as much.
I do it because I like the benefits of exercising. (To get around my resistance of it, I call it things like working out, going to the gym, being active, training, etc. Splitting hairs, but it gets past my rebellious side and gets me moving!)
Getting out and moving regularly – going to the gym, having a session with my personal trainer, doing Tai Chi, or going for a hike – has the same benefits as eating regularly. I’m more stable emotionally and clearer mentally. I feel calmer and more peaceful in my day-to-day living.
The physical benefits of increased strength, balance, and weight control are really just secondary to the emotional and mental benefits for me!
Making decisions is simply a part of life. Big ones, little ones, and all those in between. I can choose to make them agonizing and dramatic.
Or I can follow my own practices and make decisions with ease and clarity. And live a much more peaceful, balanced, and happy life